Where can I find information on parenting a toddler?

By Dr. Jerry Kay

You were not born with the innate ability to know all about parenting a toddler. You have to learn. Here's some tips that will take you out of the "trial-by-error" mode.

Parenting a toddler is one of the most playful, challenging and heart-opening experiences in life. Your child will have moods. Big moods! Lots of them! How do you deal with all these ups and downs? What can you really do to help your child feel better?

If you are expecting, or know someone who is, I have compiled some less-obvious parenting principles geared to help you raise a perceptive, secure and happy child. Specifically, these suggestions are to help you find sensible ways to handle your toddlers unhappy moods.

Here are some tips:

If your toddler is screaming and upset, contrary to popular belief, your number one point of focus should be on keeping yourself calm. Put your focus on yourself. At least try it and see what happens. Let me explain.

Obviously you love your child and you want him or her to feel better. But in order to be the most effective at doing this, you must feel better yourself. Take care of your self first.

Children are emotional magnets and pick up on moods easily. You do not have to believe in any New Age garbage to be able to "feel the mood in the air." Body language and tone of voice speak volumes, and kids are especially open to these things.

During the explanations of airplane safety procedures, they always insist that you put your own oxygen mask on first, and then put the oxygen mask on your child. This is a striking example, and a perfect metaphor for what I am suggesting about parenting a toddler, or any age child for that matter.

Parenting Resources

Fisher Price - Why toddlers have temper tantrums.

Families Online Magazine - Why won't my toddler eat?

How can you help your child feel better or ease their discomfort, if you are not feeling good yourself first? You must show them the way, by being the way. Teach by example. Look within and see if you are feeling uncomfortable. Slow down. Take some breaths. Do this while your child is screaming, and it will help ease the situation.

Shift your attention inward. Parenting a toddler is not easy, but you must find some centeredness despite the chaos. Be willing to try. See yourself as the child. Hold your child as if you are holding yourself.

To put your own mood first is not a selfish or unloving way to be. It will not mean that you do not care about your child. It will mean that you do care about your child. You must open your heart first, and this will subliminally teach your child to do the same. Parenting a toddler is about loving him or her, is it not?

What is a simple discipline method that works? - Discipline is more than tough love. It creates harmony and lets everyone know exactly what the rules are ahead of any questionable actions.

What are parenting groups and are they helpful? - You cannot get professional advice about every facet of raising children. But you can get real-world help from parenting groups.

Dr. Jerry Kay is a psychologist and family counselor. He is a frequent speaker at youth and family counseling seminars.

Header graphic courtesy of Digital Westex Gallary

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